(Peanuts, 1955)If you have been depressed before, chances are that you have been through this: your friend broke up with you because he feels you "nag too much"; your grades have been falling because you can't (or don't want to) study; you lost your job because you aren't "good enough". And it is all your fault.
Is it?
This feeling of blaming yourself for all of the bad things that happen to you is called self-loathing. It is interesting in the sense that it can either be a trigger of depression or a symptom of depression itself. When you express this hatred torwards yourself, you never considered the possibility that your friend may be a bad listener; that the subject you're having trouble with is too boring or too difficult, or that your teacher may have a problem presenting the content; or that was your boss that was setting unrealistic goals.
Self-loathing may be caused by a number of reasons, from environmental (parents raising their children as if they were guilty of their bad marriage; a highly competitive environment that stresses you out, or prejudice from society if you are from a minority group). They can also be biological (depression itself), or a mix of both things.
That being said, is it wrong to feel bad for a mistake you made? No. But this certainly cannot last forever, either. And if you start blaming yourself for just about everything, then you have to consider the possibility that either it's not just you that are making mistakes or that you haven't made a mistake at all.
Think again: Is it really your fault things are the way they are?
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